B U LL S H I T!

A weird feeling came to me today.I felt soo damn lonely,I almost cried but i hold back my tears. Today was a pretty damn suck.I was all alone in class,i felt isolated.ARGH! i don't want to go to school,it makes me sick with all those dramas,bad bullshit dramas. School is all about that.Why can't it be just a normal school with a normal life and a normal friends?

Ahhh! god damn-it.

Thank You

Elysha! you are one funny girl,do you know that? never thought that actually is IN you for the past years and i just knew that.HAHAHA.Im glad you are my friend :) Love you babe and keep being hyper, All the waaaaaay!

You know,i am really greatful to have a friends,good friends like them.Eventhough i am sad or whatsoever,they're just there to cheer me up.I can laugh like mad with them,not with anybody else but them.I would have to say alhamdulillah :) How sain am i? HAHA.

Oh and BTW i don't fucking care,Too bad.

Another day...

I got this poems from a blog.Check it out :)

searching for answersthat evaded me for so long,i got lost in a maze of treacheryhidden under a mask of innocence;
it’s been so longwords kept me awakeall night long, makingme restless and confused;
drowning in the wishesof a long lost past,i let my life down,i let myself down;
in the midst of the nightunder the velvet skiesi surrendered to lifei whisper for forgiveness;
so with a smile on my lips and a wish on my heart i give faith(hope) one more reason i give life another chance to make my wish come true;

waking up drenched in sweat

realizing it’s nothing but a nightmare

I get up to drink a glass of water

to drown the fear that woke me up!

sins I have done plenty

I do not know if the good I did is enough

to grant me a passage to heaven

or worse, born again as human;

never cared for what people thought,

never worried about those who left,

never a minute I spent crying over split milk,

what had to happen, had to happen!

what I was yesterday is what I am today,

yet people think I have changed,

I wonder why!I take life as it comes

no expectations and no demands!
with the guillotine waiting at every step,

uncertainty looms large over tomorrow,

I fear I need to live every moment

of today before I am dead!

the grey sky looming above,

rain drops still dripping down from the pregnant clouds above,

we set out on our journey once again;
around and around we go in slow circles,

moving to the beat of the thunder and rain that surrounds us;
as the droplets hit the ground,

shattered realizations lay scattered

reminding me nothing is same

as it seems to be;

as another memory turns to dust i cut the life

line that attaches me to the past

and i shove it back into the depths

where nothing will ever bring it back alive;
the rain does nothing to stop our journey,

never forgetting,

who we are we walk these streets of madness,

knowing that,

without each-other….. we are simply incomplete.

You and You Alone

at times i felt
i’ve come to the end of life,

attempts to change

seems as futile as stupidity;

when the sun sets with a final red blaze

i tried to cross the borders of reality

into a world where my desires met

the dreams of tomorrow;

now i feel

i am on top of the world

nothing could go wrong

with my dreams coming true one by one

only time stands in the way of this one;

my whole life altered

in one single moment

giving a reason

for this mortal existence;

When you talk to me,

I feel like heaven when we talk,

I just can’t leave you

nor say goodbye to you;

So hard to write down

All I need to say

I find myself tongue tied

No right words come ’round

But each time I look at you

I hope you see it in my eyes

The love that shines for you;

searching for that longing touch

from the moment I looked into your eyes,

I knew my life was about to change,

i knew the love that i carry is

for you and you alone

Dealer.

I start my day by praying subuh.Unbelievable i know,HAHA.Mum woke me up at 6.45 a.m to do so.Then i went back to sleep after praying.Then mum woke me and my sister up around 9 and here's the conversation:

Mama:WAKE UP SLEEPY HEADS! lets go for breakfast!
We:Jap jap,5 minutes.
Mama:Jomlaaaaa!!
We:okay okay,jap laaaaa.
Mama:Ergh! kaylaaa,if mama dah siap and you all tak siap lagi,im just going to leave you girls.(with an angry voice)
We:AHHHHHHHHH!
(then,we get up and went to our room)

Cause all of us slept at my mum's room.Its fun :) So we went for breakfast at chawan,bangsar.The food was okay.After that,went shopping at bangsar village(new building).Damn! i love the clothes. I bought a pair of jeans and a pair of blue checkered shirt.I could show you the image but im too lazy to put it.

Anyways,after shopping,i went for art class with elysha.Ahhh,another peaceful mind.When i was painting,my mind feels sooo free and clear.Its just peaceful,thats all i can say.
After art class,went home and change for badminton with my family.It was FUN!Daddy is a pro.HAHA.No,seriously he is a pro.Well,he has a tournament tomorrow so we're helping him practice.Goodluck daddy!

Overall today was all about FUN and more FUN :P

Note:You're making me confuse.Confuse hard.My mind is not inplace,again.

HI ME!

Well,hmmm let's see.School? It was fine.I feel like ranting everyone today,but i controled myself,thank god! During practical,i feel like taking a knive and cut my hand,i was sooo tense plus tention,i honestly don't know why.I guess im just hungry cause right after recess,i went all hyper and high.HAHA.Oh,and i dont know how many times i dropped my books on the flow,i was so tired to pick them up.Haihh..

You know what?

Im so happy that i finally get those feelings out of myself.I feel so good to be happy again,i am! And i really hope those bad,awful feelings wont come back and conqure again.It has been burried underground and it is safely locked with the safest lock. :D

Thank you god for granting my wish =]

K A R M A

again... Its happening to me.I totally feel the same like how you feel last year.Im so sorry! Argh,i hate karma.I wish i could turn back time now.

Come on geek-ian's, do what you have to do. please! :(
Dear god,would you give me a new life and a new test?

Sports Day

Woke up at 6.30 a.m. Went to hanna's house to pick "them" up and then off we go to MPSJ. Had senamrobik after the marching.Pretty nervous for it but im sure running is even more nervous than that.haha.I had to run 4x100 and 4x400. My team made it to 2nd place for 4x100.All pressure on me ofcourse cause im the 4th runner . So yay me! haha. Well for 4x400 we got second last cause the second runner is pretty damn slow.Im the 3rd runner,when the batten has been passed to me,i was pretty ashamed to be the last one getting it so i ran as fast as i could,like really really fast and i got through 2nd lastSo we're not a loser after all huh.

You know whats cute? My mum! haha.She was soooo semangat about me running,she even came to MPSJ to see me run eventhough its only a short period of time.How cute is that? haha.I love you mommy :)

After that,me and my friends went to taipan,the usual thing we use to do during sports day.haha.Went to KFC for lunch.Hmmmm,they just have a yummy spicy chicken with coleslow and mash potato.I ate like a person who didnt eat for 7 days.HAHA.serious shit! Anyways,then went to rooftop,havent been there for a very long time.At that moment the wheather was so cooling and eventually we're on the rooftop so its cold.haha.We took pictures,camwhoring like shit and anas showed this picture of a bus accident and theres a brigde,under the brigde there's a "toyol"(ghost).OMG! you should see the picture,it was sooo scary.The eyes,wow!hmmmm

Then,went to starbucks,for the aircond.haha.It was ummm awesome! HAHA.Oh,and i honestly appreciate my friends fr waiting until the running ended,for cheering...ahhh,how can i thank you girls.Awww,you know i love you :)
Overall i had a good day,a pretty marvelous day,except for the heat ofcourse.Shish.But anyways,today was awesome.Awesome being with my friends,awesome running,awesome cheering,awesome awesome awesome!

OH! i was on my way home,there was this girl on top of the "jejantas". I meant on the roof of it trying to kill herself.The police,the fire man was all over the brigde trying to get her down.Wow,that was c r a z y! hmmm.so yeahh....

SOON

In this particular world,i trust no one except my family. In this particular life, i bow to it for giving me a test, a test for patients,a test for heart breaks..a test for embarassment.I accept the test with sincere heart i do.But i honestly can't wait to pass it.You know i'll get something in return. I hope i do get it.

Like the elderly always say,what goes around comes around.You just don't know when will it happen.Soon.

OK,lets go.

We had raptai today for sports day which is on sunday. We had to dance at the field,under the hot sun,i had fun :). I played truth or dare with the seniors and couple of friends,it was so embarassing and very funny though.haha. After school end,went to 5 zeta,had setia meeting.We form 2 groups to sell some foods during sports day.I enter the classroom with a groggy face.Ahhh,so tired.My group is making sandwiches and we're also selling a fan a.k.a kipas ? haha.Incase people feel hot or something.Hot i meant warm.haha.

I have to say,sports day is gonna be a tiring day for me.I have to go to hanna's house at 7 to pick them(groups) and head to mpsj,then i have senamrobik,then i have to run...Ahh,god help me.I need a day where i can sleep and relax and hear some calm music.Unfortunately,the day is gonna come after mid exam.Next week,im gonna study like hell!Exam is in 3 weeks away,I have alot to read.Missed class for 2 weeks.Senamrobik better be worth it cause i am DEAD tired right now.

Oh,after the setia meeting me and zafira went to smksj to watch MY,nat and sue li audition for their IU day.Sadly we didnt make it there on time to see them perform :(. But i am happy they got through.Yay! :P I should've went there earlier so that i can see ehem,you know who :). Oh well,theres always a next time right? hmmm...can't wait.Gotto be on the road by now,if you know what i mean.Gotto go straight,no turning back.

P/s:Im getting my ass back on the road baby,It aint easy,but hell yeah im gonna try :)

fever-ish

Never thought i'd be the one who is suffering...

4-0

Liverpool star Fernando Torres downplays wonder goal against Blackburn.Im so proud of you,liverpool.But i aint proud of you getting beat by chelsea before haha.

Oh,and i love you,fernando torres!

Dear life

woke up at 9.Went for the exchange student (AFS) talk.Decided to apply to US. Then went back home,switch on the tv,watch mtv,michael jackson on scene,mommy went to the living room and shake shake shake while the song was still on and i joined her.haha.After the song,she lay down and fell asleep till 2.30 p.m. I went for art class today,drew a figure and painted it.I was expressing myself through painting.The room was silent,i concentrated,thinking while painting.The silent is what i needed.I had a good run :) Now im in my cousin's home.Mom is downstairs talking to my grandma and my aunty.They talked non-stop,gossiping,talking about politics especially.haha.Well,they're living their life and i live mine.Well ofcourse mine is empty now,theirs are still A whole. Im just standing still. My life is a mess right now.It just aint right and im here attending my course of making it right again.Im still trying....

the sea is calling

Dear readers,

I am very sorry for the emo-ish post nowdays.Im just not myself .Its been weeks.My mind is out of place,im just walking in a crucket track.Everyday there must be something wrong,there's never A right.So,i'll be the second version of aliah (the sad one) maybe for a couple of months or weeks,we never know i can recover fast.The aliah is still in me but its just not out for the moment.Its 07 all over again.Once im okay,i'll let you know,immediately.Right now,i need a vacation.PEACE!

i havent made up my mind yet

what am i going to do? boy,this is hard.I can't believe im doing this but i guess its the right thing to do.what if its not? i honestly need a vacation.I can't wait for the talk about exhange student tomorrow.I need to get out of this freaking hot country and so as some people,i need to get away.

screaaaam

i dont know the feelings of being happy anymore.I really need a sign a right now.

ARGH!Sorry for being so freakishly emo. This is actually not me.Im trying very hard to find a way out.

quote nat "do you like water? if you like water than you like 70% of me.

today we learn new steps,wohooo! i really like the micheal jackson part.It was amazing.I had so much fun today. :) i drank alot of water today,like seriosuly.Dont know how many times i pee'd. :P yikes!

p/s:I try not to think,about the pain I feel inside..Did you know you used to be my hero?All the days you spent with me,now seem so far away and it feels like you don't care anymore.Nothing's gonna make this right again.

kill me,kill me now

it sucks when i can't do what i want to do.you know...The guts.
Sometimes i just want to fly to the moon and clear my mind out but too bad there is no oxygen there.Pffftt

I really need some peace of mind.Need a quiet place to think,clear off my freaking mind.Too many words,too many ranting to do at the same time.
God.

Wait,what the hell am i thinking? gosh,why am i so stupid! ofcourse its true and i can't really do anything about it.Its fate...I mean,i have to accept it in any circumstances there is.Yes!

What a fuck-up world,where life can be suckier than ever.

in the blues

Had senamrobik today.Starts around 8.The steps were cool,really cool.Had this thriller steps which is super awesome.Izari and muqri were so funny on the stage,doing the slam-dog thingi with their hands and i did join them,haha.So,currently I just woke up from my nap,feeling very groggy but i can handle it.I am officially bored,waiting for my tutor to come over and can't wait for tomorrw. :].

Oh and the song is stuck in my head, :

h.e.l.p

im confuse.my mind is not in place.

what if im wrong of being confuse?

now IM a shopoholic

clothes,clothes,clothes...need to have em. haha.damn,i sounded so desperate.Im not though!

xoxo.

perfectly gorgeous

isnt she gorgeous?Look at her smile,naturale! i would die to get her skin tone :)

xoxo.

f.r.i.e.n.d.s

good morning!I woke up with ears hearing a loud noise,turn out to be my phone ringing.I checked it and got a text from nazrin.haha.he was all "good morning aliah!" and me with a groggy mind was all "good morning nazrin!"hahaha. So,you know whats funny? my sister accidentally switch her contact lense with mine.She wore my left and i wore her left side. She actually threw mine away when she realize she got the wrong one's.After i took a shower,i put on my contact lense but somehow the left one turned out to be very blurry and weird.haha.So i took it off and put on a new one which i got it readily from my drawer.
Conversation,oh and btw,i call my sister adik,i know its weird but its cool :)

me:adik,you terswitch my contact lense eh?
Adik: thats yours ke! i threw yours away.patutlaaaa left side rasa lain.HAHA
me: tulaaaaa.how can we switch? yesterday we put our contact lense in a different container
kan?
Adik:gilaaaa weird! hahaha.you threw mine away tak?
me: nope,yours is still in the container.You shouldnt throw mine away! i had to waste one.
Adik:HAHAHA.

-end-

confession of a shopoholic

so,just got back from midnight movie.It was awesome.dang! i want to watch it again.can't wait.
Her clothes were marvelous.Her closet were full of clothes.OMG! i love her clothes..her dress,WOW! i guess i've said it twice now im gonna stop.haha.Alrighty roo.Its 2 o'clock in the morning,i should get some sleep.Toodles,

xoxo

the secret

been so long since ive blogged. I had my up's and down's this days.But mostly i am perfectly fine,i guess.Im trying to get over this sucky awful feelings which i will have it everyday.Everytime 'that person' pass by,all of the sudden,this memory...beautiful memory came and go for like 2 minutes.I shook my head,trying to get that depressing memory out cause i am tired of holding back my tears...i am so tired of hearing my friends saying "you have got to get over him!". My answer will always be a no.

Anyways,school is okay.Trying to keep myself busy.Today,there's this senamrobik thingi at the hall.Me and nat went half way and went back to class cause we have chemistry,we thought twice and decided not to go.I feel so lonely in class nowdays.Everyday when i go to school,this bad aura covers the air.
Im gonna switch class to 4 gamma,i guess.I really hope i get the chance to do so.Atleast i have few of my close friends there.They can really keep me company.

will i ever get over you? i know im not going to.Chances is all we need.

xoxo.